Friday, 11 June 2010

Late night realizations

Some friends bring up the most profound introspection in the middle of our late night chats.

I'm very happy being single and I do not need to keep in touch with my lovers daily.

Expect if we decide to play full on D/s. I cannot be happy in a non committed D/s playground.

Sure, a little spanking's nice, and I wouldn't mind being fucked hard and fast and roughly by my lovers. But if they want me to call them Sir, and everything that is entailed, I need more than just random encounters without any meaning.

If history taught me one thing, is that I am full of devotion for that one person who I play with: it's always been like that in my past relationships.

And it's... perverse, in an horrible way, to be dedicated to someone who doesn't care about you the way you care about them, who goes AWOL for days, sometimes an entire week. Drove me completely bonkers and unleashed my inner psycho bitch. Not a good thing. I had an horrible week last week due to that.

I always have a grand sense of accomplishment when I figure out something about the way my universe works.

So my order for the universe now is an handful of competant lovers (with working cocks please) and may be, may be one person to play seriously with?


Hawk said...

You are a supremely sexy made me stay up late last night to read...and play....

I am in Afghanistan, so erotica is the safest way to go...


Jean-Olivier Gagnon said...

You have a very good head on your shoulders but I sincerely believe you plan too much. It's one thing to know what you need but you often come up with a "shopping list" after your realizations. I used to do the same. I don't recommend it. Relationships are their own animal, they define themselves. You shouldn't go out looking for something specific. Meet a guy and enjoy what he has to offer. That's my opinion anyways. Also, your latest posts denote that you REALLY need to be abused. Big time. I hope you stumble on the right guy for that soon ;)