Lonely jerks

So there's some lonely people posting on Craigslist pretending to be me.

Here's a hint: I use my entire name (philosophicalslut) in my email address. If you're getting contacted by someone with another email then that one, it's not me!

Frustrations

When I'm frustrated, I also get horny, somewhat.

If you were to drop my panties when I'm pissed off, you could slowly finger me and it wouldn't take long before you could fist me while calling me a nasty whore.

I like hardcore sex in general, but when I'm upset, I'd like it even more. Use my mouth as a pleasure hole for your cock, rape my ass then cum in my mouth, leave my slutty cunt alone, or fist it if you want.

Slap my face and call me nasty names, spank my ass while fucking it.

I'm beyond pissed off right now. And I can't fuck it out.

In an empty apartment with nothing else than a sofa

I went out with 2 guys last week at Carlos and Peppes. Had a few drinks, nothing unreasonable, than asked one of them back to my new place to help me set up my new TV.

It's actually exactly what he did, at first. I had no furniture except said TV and my new black leather sofa. I wasn't in a position to fuck (I'm not turned on by period sex, even if I do get insanely horny sometimes) so we were fondling each other and I ended up asking him to fuck my mouth.

The words must have turned him on a lot cause in the blink of an eye he was standing up on my couch and shoving his thick uncut cock in my eager mouth and pumping away like it was a used up whore's cunt. I was tweaking his nipples slightly and he quickly rewarded me with a few sprays of his sperm.

A few drops fell on my new black leather sofa.

The taste of cum

It's not a secret that most women won't swallow. Or want to get cum on their face. Or let that sweet love juice run down their breasts and play with it for a while.

I love cum. I love doing all those things. So when I'm going down on a guy and I know his taste his good, even yummy sometimes, I do ask him where he wants to cum. Does he wants me to swallow it all, like a greedy little slut, want to paint my face like a whore canvas with it, cover my ample boobs with the stuff?

One of my exes had a real nectar coming out of his schlong. He always said it was for his insane fondness of green apple and iced tea, which is was indulging in many times a day. And so was I, in some way... What a nice oral sex summer it was.

Cum, it's my slutty reward! I enjoy it very much.

Hurray!

It's a (belated) Christmas miracle!

My blog is back!

What happenned, you all asked. Well, Google has robots surfing the interwebs and those robots also surf Blogger.com (which belongs to Google). They help the interwebs get rid of the scum, so they delete spam blogs.

I got flagged as a spam blog. It's called a false positive. It was a long tedious process getting the blog back, and I'm considering moving it elsewhere, but at least it's back.

Ooh I have so many things to blog about...

What, what?

So I'm watching porn. Nothing out of the ordinary so far.

But pay attention to the last 20 seconds of this clip on Red Tube.

This is exactly how I'd love to be fucked right now. Raw, in the ass, while I scream like a banshee and my pussy squirts like a fountain.

I'll be watching this clip over and over until I'm horny enough to masturbate while squirting everywhere.

Funny euphemisms for sex

I'm watching yesterday's American Dad and they made me laughed so much with their "i've been naughty and you'll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking" that I started thinking about other euphemisms for sex.

I've always liked "bumping uglies" and "taming the shrew" also.

BTW, I'm totally using "i've been naughty and you'll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking" as a pick up line this time of year from now on!

A countdown of the last dates I had.

I was browsing a dating site earlier today, OKCUPID not to name it, and I was thinking of the last dates I had with guys I met there.

So here's a countdown in reverse chronological order!

- Very awkward date, he was obviously nervous and we had very little in common. At the end of the date he doesn't make any moves, but later tells me online that he'd love to fuck me. I accept, cause I don't care about the guy but I sure wouldn't mind fucking. I don't hear from him and he dissapears completely shortly after.

- Weird date again. Had coffee, then walked a bit, then had coffee elsewhere. Was trying to invite me over his place constantly. I paid for my own coffee too.

- Great date. We immediately had awesome chemistry. We made out like crazy teenagers and even went to the movie theater for an intense gropping session in the dark. I ended up giving him a hand job.

- Had a lot of fun at the restaurant, then at the coffee shop. We talked for hours. We ended up having foreplay all night, but no penetrative sex.

- Nice first date. We were very comfortable with each other and he made my roommate laugh a lot. We ended up fooling around in my bedroom. Got my first analingus that night.

- We had some chemistry, but not enough that I'd want to keep the guy around. But the sex was absolutely awesome and he's hung like a stallion.

The boy got no game

No seriously. I get contacted by AT LEAST 15 guys, on a slow day.

Out of the lot, only ONE guy will have a decent chance at getting my attention.

Wanna talk numbers? That means less than 7% of the guy who contact me have a chance to get a reply. Roughly 75% of the men I will reply to will prove themselves to be jerks and/or losers.

And my advice to men is: you have no game. Learn to communicate.

When you contact an awesome girl, you know she is interresting. Also, she knows that you know she is interresting. Your goal is now to make her think you are interresting too.

It's painfully obviously when you are sending a "longish" message that is just a copy and paste of the same message you must have sent 100 girls before me. "Hi, your profile is funny and interresting, I would love to know more about you." Really, am I supposed to feel special here? Tell me WHAT you liked about my profile and WHICH part was funny. Add a little personnal anecdote or two. That will get my attention.

I won't even cover the "hi sexy wanna talk on msn and see how it goes" because I wonder if the guys sending those messages are ever going to leave their mother's basement; they don't deserve tips & tricks.

Speaking of MSN, there is the annoying conversation that goes like this:
"hi"
"hi"
"how are you"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking"
"So what do you wanna talk about"
"..."

If you ever get laid and the conversation started like that, please contact me, I need to know how you turned it around!

We'll finish off with my personnal pet peeve: the beggar. He's easy to spot because he will overuse the expression and "why not??". I seem to be getting a lot of those lately, probably because I am way too polite and do reply to all messages I get, even if it's to nicely turn down someone.

Don't get me wrong, I know rejection is not fun. But sometimes, you definitely deserved it.

Face slap & spanks

There's something extremely arrousing about being manhandled, I never hid my preferences in that matter.

I only ever been with one guy who wasn't afraid to be extremely rough in bed; he would slap and spank and bite and pull at whim.

It's not necessarly the type of things you want to do with a one night stand either. My sexuality is like a flower that blooms when it's being nurtured in a relationship setting: either a casual or a serious one. I just don't see myself doing this with a stranger: plus, wouldn't the guy who do that to random girls be a bit weird?

I miss having my ass spanked, raw, and my face slap, forcefully.

Yup, they are turning me on.

Buzzing

I went out with some girlfriends last night, typical girl's night out. Drinks, food, fun, sex talk.

I was talking about one of my favorite position. Also about what I would do if I coulnd't have sex for a month. I recall my exact words where : "no pussy sex? thank god I have an ass!".

Anyway, we were discussing how I need new sex toys and it got me thinking, about how wonderful it'd be to be ass-fucked while a vibrator would be buzzing in my cunt at full speed.

That's what gives me the biggest orgams usually, anal combined with some sort of vaginale or clitoridial pleasure. I'm one of the few girls I know who actually cums from normal penetration sex, but when you combine different version of it, it's terribly pleasurable.

Delish

Sometimes, when I touch myself, I let my fantasies run wild.

Yesterday, I was rubbing my clit hard, spreading my cunt juices all around my pussy and pinching my nipples while thinking about girl on girl. More specifically, a girl eating me out while I'd be doing exactly what I was doing.

I'm not a huge fan of receiving cunnilingus. Gentlemen, I'll shatter your self confidence by admitting that very few of you are talented in this domain. And it's an activity that is best performed by somebody who is VERY gifted in pussy eating, otherwise I'm just annoyed with it.

My most recent ex never eaten me out. At all. And I was quite satisfied with his manhood that I never ever missed it. The guy I was very serious before that was eating me out often, but he wasn't very good at it, so, boredom.

There's a guy I was involved with for a few years, he was half decent and that was quite enjoyable. But about 10 years ago, I brieftly dated a guy who was an absolute KING, a wizard of the tongue, a paladdin of the clit... let's call him Q.

Q is probably the reason the bar is set so high for cunnilingus nowadays; he was absolutely terrific at it. I remember this one time, he came home from school for lunch... and spent 45 minutes eating me out. Yes. It was so wonderful I can only be disappointed when I'm with another man now and he's eating me out. Thank you Q for ruining cunnilingus forever for me.

So back on the girl eating me out: I have the biased opinion that a girl would probably be good at pussy eating and it's making me very hot to think about it while I'm masturbating.

But my mind is shifting again and now I'm the one eating her out... I moan in my pillow, loudly, hoping not to wake the roommates up.

I'd love to eat a sweet juicy pussy, with the girl spread eagle in front of me and while my mouth is running wild on her cunt, grabbing and gropping her soft and warm breasts, hearing her moaning her pleasure loudly. Oh if I could get fucked in the ass from behind at the same time, that'd just be delish.

Gangbang

I was reading an old comment on an old entry of this blog.

My reader wrote that he could picture me in a gangbang with 4-5 cocks.

I wonder what I would do with so many stiff members around me...

First scenario coming to mind is that I'd be on all fours, stradling a guy who'd be fucking my pussy, while another guy would be fucking my ass from behind. I'd most likely be sucking on a thick dick while jerking the two other guys off.

I've experimented double penetration with sex toys before, either alone or with a partner. It's pretty awesome to feel your slutty pussy being stretched by two large phalluses at the same time, or to suck on a dick while you are being fucked at the same time.

How can it be December yet?

How can it be December yet?

It forces me to think too much about the fact I haven't gotten any in over a month now. I didn't even got laid on my birthday, and that in itself is a real tragedy.

I was joking tonight, on a date with an ex of mine, that I'd like a mold of his cock. They do sell kits for that at the sex store. He claimed we didn't had time to stop there on our way to the movie.

I think he just want to stick the real thing in me and not a substitute.

Forced orgasms

I'm a bit moody lately.

Work is a bitch, my sex lif is going nowhere, my roommates are annoying... I'm just not in a great mood lately.

I decided that I needed a solid orgasm session to get me out of this moodyness. Since I decided against sex toy shopping last night (it was raining, I'm a wuss), I had to take matter into my own hands... litterally.

Even if I wasn't in the mood at all, I forced myself to have an orgasm. I watched some hot porn on redtube and I was teasing myself slowly by playing with my very sensitive nipples.

When my pussy was getting wet at the sigh of all these bleached bimbos being used as fuck toys and getting their tiny holes stretched by huge cocks, I moved to my bed.

I rubbed my clit, slowly at first, rougher in the end, while playing with my nipple intensely. It tooks me a few moments to reach a good spot because, as I said, I just wasn't in the mood.

I had to readjust my position cause I wasn't comfortable and my mind was wandering in every directions. I finally got focused and determined enough to get there.

The little moment BEFORE you are going to squirt, to come, to have a mind blowing orgasm are awesome.

My pussy was twitching so much I had to stop touching myself cause my whole body became hypersensitive.

It was so intense that I moaned in my pillow a good 5 minutes while my body was overcoming many wonderful orgasms. I woke up this morning and this is the last thing I remembered.

So how did you spend your friday night?

Sex Toys Part Deux

I ordered a sex toy or two from my favorite go-to site for random chinese stuff, dealextreme.com

They will take weeks to get here, so I was planning on going to the sex shop downtown near Guy tonight to buy myself a new toy. Or five.

I'm online browsing right now to see what kind of model I want.

I'm a bit uninspired to say the truth!

Celibacy

So I'm at this awkward stage where I can't remember the last time I had sex because it's just been so long.

I need to go sex toy shopping soon because what I have isn't enough to satisfy me fully.

I could suggest to my ex to come over on his lunch break and take me wildly on my flimsy bed (I almost wanna bed having sex on that cheap bed I got when I moved out will break it).

In the meanwhile, I'm sextoy shopping online. Should I get the jackrabbit, with all the bells and whistles or get a more subtle model?

About dating.

So, I like it rough.

I like being thrown down on the bed, get my panties ripped from my ass and taken deep and hard.

Are you really surprised to hear this?

The problem with being single and liking it rough, it's not getting proper satisfaction sexually. When you are in a commited relationship, it sounds less weird having your partner take your ass from behind while choking you.

Or maybe it's just me.

Thing is, where am I going to find a proper sexual partner? Post an ad on craiglist? "Hi, I like to be choked and called a whore in bed". Let's see what kind of creeps I get.

Try dating nice guys until the time is right to jump in bed with them and realize that their idea of a romantic time is actually putting up roses petals all over the bedspread? I don't have time to loose my time...

Cum in my mouth baby

My ex turned me into a swallower.

We had a pretty heavy D/s relationship and he loved nothing more than to make me feed on his cum, several times a day. It was pretty yummy too, so I happily obliged.

The guy I dated before him, for more than 5 years, used to be a smoker. I swear, swallowing a smoker's cum is terrible. Think about it before you lit up your next cancer stick guys. I rarely did him this favor because of that.

There a guy I hooked up with 2 years ago (Sharpie Boy, I should mention it more as it was truly the tiniest dick I've ever seen) who was a smoker too. Same problem, gross cum.

I miss the guy I was with when I was 18 (and my boobs were still perky enough I could go without a bra, aahhh to have 18 y.o. triple Ds again...). He was drinking iced tea all the time, and would snack on green apples like his life depended on it. Yummy, yummy cum.

I think I miss cum period...

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday... to me!

Now where can I bad girl get 29 spanks around here?

The last time

It's a bit ironic that I am still writing in this sex blog when I haven't had sex in so long.

So long that I actually stock counting now... has it been a month already? Off course I masturbated one or twice since, but still. I think my libido is on hold.

Even had a date with my ex this week and I wasn't really in the mood to suggest we finish this with handcuffs and whipped cream.

I'm hoping it's just the mix of moving out, breaking up and starting a new job within the same month that is pushing my libido so down lately.

Sometimes I think about my mother and her sexless marriage and how she must be so unhappy. I blame her bitterness and bitchyness on the lack of sex.

Hell, that could be why I'm slighty on the edge lately too. Even if I don't find myself desiring of sex in the past few weeks, doesn't mean my body doesn't need it.

Rubber up baby

So, fresh out of a long term relationship, I find myself pondering about condoms.

I'll eventually need to take a lover or two. Which means, to err on the side of caution, I'll have to use condoms again. I hate them.

I really do. I prefer the smooth warmth of a thick cock slowly entering my moist and tight cunt to the wet slippery rubbery feeling of a condom wielding prick.

My current ex, when he was just a boytoy cause I was dating someone else, used those super thin japanese condoms. I should find that and stock up. It's the next best thing.

But nothing beats the feeling of cum in my ass.

Bored

I'm just bored lately. Asexual.

My new job is taking 100% of my brain space, I don't have time to dream or lust anymore.

Thought I find myself very horny tonight.

Singledom or singlehood?

Well, I recently became single. My own choice, don't worry about me.

It comes with a lack of sex. I'm not sure why we haven't had break up sex yet actually. Either way, we've been monogamous for so long that I simply don't have any booty calls numbers anymore.

No, you can't offer yourself. I'm just complaining. Ranting.

I guess I'll have to take this into my own hands, literally.

Sparks

There is a spark in my brain when he goes from my pussy to my ass, forcing his thick cock in my tight hole. Rubbing my clit intensely in the meanwhile. As soon as he's inches deep in my ass, he cums. We both moan in extasy.

A deal

The deal is quite simple, really. I've been suffering from writer's block for a while now. Inspire me! What would you like me to write about? Give me a scenario, strike up a subject in my head.

Wet and horny

I'm not dead, just less focused on blogging lately. The thing when you live with someone for a long time, you tend to not be as sex-crazed with each others as you were in the earliest day of your relationship. We used to see each other one or twice a week and have sex 2-3 times each day. That has definitely toned down a lot.

I will get wet and horny and out of control sometimes. It still turns me on to wake up next to him while he's having a monster boner. I love the taste of his cum in my mouth.

He took my ass violently last week. I still am a bit sore. It makes me wet, and horny.

I'm lost but now I'm found.

It's actually how anal started with him: by accident. And over the months, his cock always finds its way naturally in my ass when I'm on all fours in front of him.



The lube from my juicy pussy just makes the perfect slickness requires for the job too.



I'll always scream and moan and squirm and cry a little a first, but god it's amazing having him stretch my backhole and fill it with cum.

Dreams...

I was naked, and so was she. I really couldn't take my eyes away from the erotic curves of her body. I was laying down and she was hovering over me a litt.e She started by tweaking my right nipples and kissed me.

Slowly, her fingers parted my lips and found my naughty marble. She gently rubbed it until I got wet enough for her to insert two fingers, all the while nibbling on my nipples. I started toying around her pussy too.

The dream suddenly stopped and I was pretty close to have an orgasm. May be next time.

Skirt and nylon

So I'm wearing a skirt and nylons today. First thing he did when he noticed was to walk right behind me, flip it up and starting to hump my ass.

Thank god I wasn't wearing a thong, he would have just pushed the tiny string aside to fuck my ass right away.

Then he kissed my neck and I moaned.

"Why are you turning me on?"

"Why are you so easy to turn on?"

The silence makes it more enjoyable

Have you ever had sex silently? No moaning, no dirty talk, no "mmm yes, stretch my ass with your fat cock"?

It can be quite intense to focus more on other senses when you are deprived of hearing sexual thing. It's kinda like being blindfolded, a common setting in the sexual life of kinksters (or anyone, really).

I'm back.