Philosophical Slut

House would have guessed it in 45 minutes.

2012-01-31T21:19:00.001-05:00

pulled a muscle in the back of my thigh today.
guess how.

masturbating.

i couldnt cum
so frustrating.
so i did it until the angle, position, friction and determination made me cum.

little did i realize i was holding my leg up in the air in a weird position too long.

result? im limping.

Used and abused

2012-01-15T09:09:00.000-05:00

How is a sub supposed to know when they're being abused, not dominated? Can they take control back to fix the situation or is that something the dom controls?

Having never really faced this situation, I had to get thinking a lot.

What I am gonna say will be controversial and misunderstood, but some people are in abusive situations and they are happy about it.

Some subs might consider themselves slaves and enjoy being beaten up by their masters. Some subs are actually quite assertive and "dominant" in their everyday lives and need a Dom that understand that once play time is over, they go back to being partners.

That last part is something I always had trouble with. I am a type A personality: I control everything and anything, at all time. Except in bed. That's how I get my fun, I disconnect, I become a fuck puppet. Someone's toy to enjoy. I would quickly see the difference between being abused and dominated cause I do no let the submission out of the bedroom.

Denial

2012-01-10T20:50:00.003-05:00

Is orgasm denial a valid dom tool. If so, why does it work?

It's my opinion, as one, that a sub is much easier to control and dominate when denied orgasms.

Let's be honest, when we climax, the letdown we experience lowers one's enthusiasm to serve, to please, to submit. We're done, we had our fun.

And it's cumming a fundamental right? Live, breathe, cum? Being denied this, allowing someone to experience an orgasm, is truly an ultimate submission.

It says "I own you. You cum at my pleasure. Not yours".

Age ain't nothing but a number - 2

2012-01-06T19:00:00.000-05:00

So I have friends in kinky places. Some are new to the kinkdom, some are experimented players.

And to help with the path of self discovery, I offered to write on some subject that may or not be of interest to me.

I like discussing kink, even in abstract concepts.

Age play (daddy/diaper fetishes included) versus Dom/sub relationships

I can see how they could be easily confused. I think it's normal sometimes to want to be nurtured, especially when sex was rough or took a lot out of you. I know sometimes I want to curl up to my lover as he spoons me, suck my thumb and call him Daddy.

I think I mentioned before how I have no daddy issues. No one was as tall, as wonderful, as smart and as perfect as me in my father's eyes. So this need call someone Daddy doesn't come from lack of love from my own father. It comes from wanting to feel loved, cared for and nurtured after sex took a lot out of me.

I am very open sexually, but I'm not into fecal matters sex. Heck ass to mouth has to be preceded by a couple of enemas until I feel my ass is cleaner than an operating room. For such, I certainly wouldn't be into diaper play. I actually wouldn't be comfortable role-playing an infant.

I need to look up to my mate, he needs to be strong, dominant, secure. Thus, I couldn't reverse the roles either and play mommy to an overgrown baby.

And are age plays related to Dominant/submissive relationships? Sometimes, yes. But I think most Doms would agree: it's more rewarding to have a smart grown woman submit sexually to you than having to handle a baby.

Oral Exam

2012-01-03T20:25:00.000-05:00

I got into the subject of blowjob technique with a coworker the other day.

It's her belief that guys enjoy the dominant aspect of the thing. A pretty woman, looking lustly at him, his thick cock parting her greedy lips, being pleasured like a king.

It's funny cause I don't feel dominant when a guy goes down on me. If anything, I feel very submissive, exposed, used.

What do you like about mouth loving?

The Truth About Kinky Women

2011-12-29T17:57:00.000-05:00

This is dedicated to all the anonymous guys messaging me, telling me how they want to fuck my ass.

Good boy

2011-12-22T07:56:00.003-05:00

Even if I find myself on the receiving side of dominance, doesn't mean I have no interest in treating a man like my own personnal bitch.

I'd keep him on the floor, at my feet. Preferably in a collar and leash. I'd tug at the leash randomly to show him I haven't forgot about him.

I'd just speak to him in short, brief orders. Make him lick my toes while I look through my sex toys until I find one that pleases me. Either to insert in his ass, or to pleasure myself while he does what I tell him to do.

I'd allow him to cum sometimes. I am a good mistress after all. Doesn't mean I wouldn't make him swallow it back however.

Common misconceptions

2011-12-16T08:17:00.004-05:00

It's a common misconceptions among people that I have live and relive all my fantasies a hundred times already.

That there is nothing left for me to experiment, to aim for, to fantasized about.

As most statements made on my subject, this couldn't be more false.

I long to eat a girl out while I'm being pounded in the ass from behind. I rub one out thinking about being Double Penetrated. My nipples get hard at the idea of sucking cocks until I'm covered in cum. I wanna be fingered and fucked until I faint and squirt all around and beg for mercy. I wanna suck on a cock covered in the juices of a freshly fucked pussy. Bonus point if I can lick the pussy also.

Aaaand I better stop there, I'm working myself up to masturbating and I'm late to work.

Cougartown

2011-12-11T22:26:00.000-05:00

I am in my 30s now. Should I seduce a younger man?

Not to introduce him to kinky sex. Just, you know, have a boy toy to myself. Giving him handjob in the backrow of the movie theater or teaching him about the joys of sex.

On the other hand, seeing older men lately wa an eye opener. They know what they are doing down there.

With their tongues.

What are you waiting for?

2011-12-11T21:59:00.000-05:00

Colleague at work been with boyfriend since they were in their late teens. He was her first. She kinda want to play the field now, but feel there is no way she can bring up this sort of conversation in her couple.

My dear friend, what are you waiting for? You're not married, and even if you were, excuse me but why should another person have a say and who you can and cannot fuck?

Life is short, you're capable.

Discover your Partner’s Hidden Sexual Fantasies

2011-12-04T12:05:00.003-05:00

I found this link I thought you`d like to check out.

Mojo Upgrade is an interactive sex questionnaire for couples to help them discover the fantasies that they might both enjoy together.
http://www.mojoupgrade.com/

Or as my dearest friend said: "You could also just talk to them".

Oldie, goodie

2011-11-29T21:51:00.001-05:00

An older post from an older blog of mine...

I like how he took off my black g-string I bought earlier that day. I put it on like barely an hour before he came over. I was with someone else yesterday. I knew He wanted to fuck me until i forget i ever was with anyone but Him tonight.

So as I said, He took off my black g-string. He was holding it and He noticed how wet they were. « Are you already that wet for me? » He asked. I answered back by asking him what He was doing. « Your roommate is next door, we have to gag you so you don't get too loud, don't we? » before He made me lick the wetness. Like an hungry little whore, I complied. He then put them in my mouth and tied them on the back of my head. « Look at me.... beautiful » He said, when I looked at him from my place, on all fours on the bed, while he was standing up next to it.

My ass was kinda already up into the air, He simply shifted me in a position with a better access to it for Him. He immediately started to finger/fist my cunt, my already dripping cunt. Slowly, I understood He didn't care much about pleasuring me at that point, He started rubbing some of my wetness on my asshole. He quickly stuck a finger in it, making me cringe. God I hate having a finger back there.

Seeing as I wasn't ready enough, He fucked my cunt for a few seconds to lube up His cock. He bend over to eat & lick my ass, making it more ready for His cock. Then He pushed. He placed the head of His big hard cock against my ass and He pushed.

At this point I doubted the gag was for my roommate's sake; it was clear He wanted to rape my ass without me tearing His eardrums with my screams. Once He finally was buried real deep in my ass, he asked me by whispering in my ear if it was hurting. I nodded. He asked if I wanted him to withdrawl. I energically said no by rapidely turning my head left & right rapidly. He started pumping.

I never felt anything so raw, so bare, so big in my ass before. The more it was painful, and believe me it was, the more I could feel my cunt just soaking up and my juices sliding down my thighs. « You like when I fuck your ass, slut? You like when I make you my bitch? » He was grunting while His cock was indeed making a bitch out of my ass.

The pain, the sweet pleasure of pain. The intensity of the fucking. A good, hard fucking, like I needed from Him. My ass still hurts when I think of it. His nails digging my back, my hips, His cock going deeper and deeper. The way He stand stills and stopped moving when He came, the way my ass was so sore I couldn't really move after...

We chatted for a while, I was laying on my stomach to avoid feeling His cum leak out of me. He told me to be careful, He wanted me to keep it as long as possible. Later on He forbidded me to clean up: He wanted me to feel His cum in my ass all evening and all night. He made me put my gstring back on, we got dressed and we went out for coffee.

« I feel like such a slut » I confessed. « That's the right state of mind you should be in » He said.

Dear stranger on the bus.

2011-11-25T01:46:00.000-05:00

I am about to fuck my freshly shaven pussy thinking of you.

Hope you see my missed connection.

Age ain't nothing but a number

2011-11-21T16:22:00.002-05:00

For the longest time, I used to see 30 as this big frightening number that one gentleman shouldn't be over if he had any inspiration to insert himself into my pants.

Then, I turned 30 myself. I don't know if it's age, wisdom or my year long drought, but nowadays I have a lot of trouble of sustaining interest in gentlemen under the respectable age of 35. I even express my preference in the ones who are above 40 lately.

I skipped a whole decade of sexual partners availability overnight, or so.

Why? I truly, truly am done with immature boys. I need men now.

Self Cockblocking

2011-11-11T10:17:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I'm such a lazy slob.

My dishes are precariously overtaking any and all counter space, I have to think for a minute before I remember the colour of the carpet under the small hills of dirty clothes all over my bedroom and I haven't shave in weeks.

I'm ending up cockblocking myself instead of allowing guys to come over and have their naughty ways with me.

They will often tell me they don't mind the mess.

I do. Is there such a thing as maid-to-the-sluts?

Sex, Drug and Rock&Roll

2011-11-10T08:10:00.004-05:00

I try not to write about people I am currently or recently seeing, but I'll make an exception in this case.

I'm a neophyte when it comes to weed and it's quite entertaining for me to basically have teenagedom time 2 when it comes to this.

So sex on weed was completely new to me. And I had absolutely no inhibitions, so it was fun to just let completely loose with this essential stranger.

I remember his tongue all over me, especially on my ass. The way your body tense up and resists at first, until the waves of pleasure come and you open up your special place a bit to the stimulus. Then he is actively tonguing your ass while fingering your pussy. I guess what I appreciated the most is how he would simply be delighted each time I'd squirt and would lick me up clean in appreciation. And I'd return the favor when he came. I truly adore swallowing enthusiastly.

Having anal sex again for the first time in over a year was all I hoped for. And more.

Sex Evolution

2011-11-06T07:59:00.004-05:00

Everything I love in bed now are things I used to find repulsive.

Disney teaches us to be good girls and that our prince will come. They don't prepare you for your prince wanting to stick his large cock in your ass, grab you by the throat as he fucks you, slapping your face calling you a whore.

Granted, few guys actually act this way in bed on the first encounters. But I gradually learned to like more and more "alternative" things and I'm less shy about asking for them.

I remember thinking people tying each others up and sucking on cocks that just been in their ass as wackos.

Heck at one point in my life, cunnilingus was something that sounded absolutely disgusting. So forget about lubing up a fist to shove it deep in my cunt or calling me a cunt while doing it altogether. Now I wouldn't mind, actually would kinda like having my ass spanked while I'm gushing buckets.

Dirty little secrets

2011-10-29T01:34:00.002-04:00

Clearly what I need is two folds. I need to be someone's dirty little secret and I need someone to tell all my dirty little secrets too.

Why can't they be one and the same?

Because I am a greedy little whore.

Anal

2011-10-22T00:41:00.002-04:00

Those few seconds when the cock is forcing its way in my ass, the pain... I moan from the pain and the pain is my pleasure.

I'm sure you'll make her very happy

2011-10-22T00:29:00.004-04:00

when she learns your jerking off to the idea of another girl in the shower.

Why do people force themselves into monogamy when it's clearly not for them?

I'm not saying monogamy is not working. I'm saying for some people it doesn't and they shouldn't shove themselves into a mould not to their size.

I should know. I tried. Takes a long time to know oneself. Takes an even longer time to know a lover.

And I can tell you, very few girls enjoy knowing you cheat on them left and right in your head.

Off course I am myself hoping to one day get a nice man who would enjoy me calling him while a lover has his cock shoved deep in my ass....

On why I do not update everyday

2011-10-21T07:36:00.000-04:00

Honestly, you'd do the same.

Be a man....

2011-10-19T11:55:00.004-04:00

I learned a long time ago that to keep your man happy, in a relationship or in bed, you have to let him be the man.

Let him drive. Let him decide on the restaurant. Let him hold the remote. Fetch him a beer.

Let him cum on your face if he wants, obey what he's asking you to do, encourage his dirty talk and his hard cock shoved into your eager cunt.

You'll find when you let the man be the man, he will be so much more attentive to you after.

Good vibrations

2011-10-16T08:55:00.007-04:00

Chemistry. Sometimes I don't cum after hours of sex. Other time I cum just from cyber sex.

I need dirty, dirty nasty talk to cum. That's how I am. The only exception to this is if the guy is dominant and rough enough that the dirty talk itself is physical. Such as... if the guy uses my pussy for the sole purpose of slicking his cock enough to fuck my ass.. I loose my fucking mind.

But sometimes even with dirty talk and rough sex, I'm just not getting there. I'll enjoy myself a lot, but never past the point of n"O" return.

If 20 sexuals addicts where in a room.....

2011-10-14T14:54:00.002-04:00

Apparently only 3 people who be more sexually addicted then myself....

We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex
addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on basis of six the criteria that indicate sex addiction is present. To help you understand, the graphic below plots your score in relation to the scores of others.

In addition there are certain subscales to further confirm that a problem exists. The following patterns emerged in your answers:

· A profile consistent with men who struggle with sexually compulsive behavior
· A profile consistent with women who struggle with sexually compulsive behavior
· A profile consistent with homosexual men who struggle with sexually compulsive behavior
· A profile consistent with sex addicts who struggle with sexually compulsive behavior on-line
The SAST measures key characteristics of addiction. The following dimensions of an addictive disorder appeared in your answers:

· Preoccupation: obsessive thinking about sexual behavior, opportunities, and fantasies
· Loss of control: inability to stop behavior despite commitments to self and others and despite problems caused by behavior
· Relationship disturbance: sexual behavior has created significant relationship problems
· Affect disturbance: significant depression, despair, or anxiety over sexual behavior

The smell of success

2011-10-13T16:46:00.002-04:00

Scientists have long known that smells are one of the best ways to evoke the past.

I concur.

First lube I ever got, at 17, was cherry scented

I used to have a canned air freshener that had the same smell, years later. Got me horny every. fucking. time.

I still remember this lover I had last year who had a very offensive smell. Seriously. Like sweat covered with cheap perfume. Thankfully this didn't last.

One of my ex was showering from head to toe with Dove products. I kinda get horny when using a bar of Dove now, thinking about the way his thick cock would always find a way to bury itself in my eager ass.

A former lover used to massage my entire body with Body Shop's Satsuma massage oil, especially my breasts, before making love to me for hours. I kid you not, just smelling this scent now gets me soaking wet.

On buying condoms for the first time in years.

2011-10-13T16:05:00.002-04:00

I truly can't remember the last time I bought condoms. A full year dry spell will do that do you.

I don't like condoms to start with, but this is a necessary protection. So I bought the thinest I could find. Two different brands. And I picked up some lube too. Because it was cherry flavored.

I don't need lube for sex. Ever. I get wet and gushing at the touch of a man.

But I need it when I masturbate. Need a wet clit to enjoy it.

So here I was standing at the cash register with a PS3, two boxes of condoms and lube.

The cashier managed to keep a straight face while wishing me to have a good evening.

Fuck me.

2011-10-09T22:47:00.001-04:00

Fuck me.
Deep.
Hard.
Raw.

Fuck me.
Grab me by the hair, open my legs, shove yourself deep in me.

Fuck me.
Deep.
Hard.
Raw.

Fuck me.
Grunt in my ear and call me a whore as you fill me up with your seed.

High as fuck, Fucking high

2011-10-09T02:44:00.002-04:00

I usually hate the crazy ramblings of pothead.

But I find myself finally fucking while high as fuck and I need to write about it while the effects is slowly wearing down.

The enthusiam. The way he's licking me, keep saying I taste fucking delicious (I do), the insane high orgasm i had from behind when he was eating me out and licking my anus before fucking it.

The way my brain exploded in the nightsky as I was squirting in his mouth and how loud of pleasure he was moaning too, covering my face and tits with his seed.

Gobble gobble.

2011-10-07T18:59:00.001-04:00

i had the type of day
that i wish id come home to someone.
and the moment i close the door behind me as i enter
i'd say "you. sex. NOW!"
and sex would occurs.

also had a sex dream within a dream about a coworker.

how was YOUR day?

Picky Pearl Polisher Porn

2011-10-04T08:42:00.005-04:00

Have I ever explained how my nightly ritual of looking for good porn goes?

I'm so picky when it comes to visual stimulation from a video. I go for irrealistic bodies, perfect bouncy perky breasts that couldn't possibly work with our planet's gravity, long thick erection. The type of bodies who creates complexes and self esteem problems in most people.

There also need to be the right type of fucking. I don't dig any kind of cowgirl, reverse or not, on my screen. There has to be anal. And do not fucking rub me of that initial anal penetration, the moment where you wonder if the cock will make it into the tight anus. I will get mad. Don't cheat, don't edit out that scene. I want to see the struggle, the pain, the whimper. Anal shouldn't be easy. Don't pour half a bottle of lube down that hole before the scene.

And the girl must be fucked like a whore. By 2 guys preferably. If only one, he better be on the verge of brutality.

In fact I enjoy the brazzers' Porn Star Punishment subwebsite tremendously. It's usually a perfect hit every time.

And I'm guessing this appeals to the gentlemen to have a coke up whore slowly undressing for 20 minutes before any fucking or sucking start in a video, but I don't think I could be skipping those scene fast enough.

Dirty talk. Please. And good dirty talk. Silent porn is so awkward.

How does...

2011-10-03T10:13:00.002-04:00

How does one end up a one year dryspell? By almost ending up in a 4some.

I mean I ended up having hot steamy lesbian sex. Which was great. And after we were debriefing on the events of the previous night and we came to the conclusion that under the right circumstances (ie if the 2 gentlemen in our hotel room were not attached already) we would have totally ended up in a 4some.

So that was the end of my dry spell.

I missed Montreal so much.

Fail

2011-09-29T08:31:00.001-04:00

i noticed i had a picture of my naked breast on my desktop. so i wanted to move it to a folder so someone on the train doesnt look over my shoulder and see it
the train bumped as i was moving it with the trackpad
effectively mimicking a double clicking option
so by wanting to shield my naked breast from the eyes of a sneaky person
i ended up making it screenwide for the whole train to see

so this is my fail of today. hows your morning so far?

Hotel sex is the best sex.

2011-09-25T19:42:00.003-04:00

Visiting my hometown later this week.

As you may know, I haven't had sex in a year. I'm mostly staying with friend and family, but I booked an hotel room for Friday/Saturday night. I absolutely intend to have enough sex to make me forget I didn't had sex for a while.

Going to be legen.... wait for it....

Pheromones and random guys

2011-09-25T08:04:00.003-04:00

As much as it's flattering, I am always a bit cautious of strangers hitting on me in public places. Or guys hitting on me at all.

And unfortunately for me, I have the pheromones of a roman love goddess lately. On my way to the dentist earlier this week, no less than 3 guys confused my terror for "come over and tell me how beautiful I am and try to get my phone number". It's even more disturbing when it's a cab drive, as I end up feeling trapped on top of everything else.

I usually don't make a negative observation without offering an alternative way to achieve your goals, but I am quite stumped on this one. I guess what I hate is they shower you with compliments then just stand there.... it looks like they're expecting me to offer my phone number.

The compliments I prefer getting from strangers are the short and sweet ones. Like a driveby feel good. "Just wanted to tell you, you are very pretty. Your eyes are so big and blue, and your smile brighten up a room. Have a nice day." and then leave.

The sweet smell of sex.

2011-09-23T15:45:00.003-04:00

Right now, after my 5th orgasm, I'd say salty honey would describe the smell of my cunt nicely.

It's hovering in the room, a telltale sign of "yup, a girl got down and dirty in here". An arousing scent.

Benny Hill and Puppies

2011-09-22T08:46:00.004-04:00

I was renting out this cottage for a few months, while I was figuring things out. He came over to hang out one week end and we were fucking a lot.

At least we were trying. The bedroom had no door and my 4 months old puppy was very curious as to what we were doing. Ensue a typical weird expression on the guy's face... "your dog is licking my balls"...

I get hysterical easily when I laugh. All the following scene was missing was the themesong from Benny Hill: an husky guy running around the room trying to catch a bouncy puppy to put him away.

Whatever he ended up doing, I remember the end of that scene: I was licking the tip of his cock for cum frantically for cum while he was making me squirt with his mouth.

Lunch break

2011-09-20T20:04:00.002-04:00

He came home on his lunch break. And ate me out for an entire 45 minutes. How horny do you think I was when he came back home at night? I sucked him off dry, him standing against the entry door. Barely let him close it behind him.

Ranting

2011-09-15T21:58:00.002-04:00

my pussy
smells like lotion
i think i masturbate
too much

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

2011-09-11T20:57:00.003-04:00

Guys, in bed, always seem to be avenging themselves for something bad done to them in the past. The way they hate fuck me, when I left them do it, makes me believe that I kicked their puppy at some point.

Or it's the frustration of all those girls who turned them down, who didn't suck their cocks, who didn't want anal. The girlfriend at home who yelled at them for watching porn, for wanting to cum in her mouth.

I think we live in a society where we don't allow the men to be men anymore. They have to bend over backward to please the female and that creates resentment.

May be I'm old fashioned, but deep down I'd love to be a 50s housewife, waiting for my husband by the door, ready to take off his shoes and hat and hand him a refreshing beverage as soon as he gets home. Then give him the blowjob of a lifetime, just because he works hard and deserves it.

Forced

2011-09-11T13:43:00.003-04:00

"God help you if you stop", he said.

"I am leaving now but when I come back, you better still be touching yourself. I don't care if you're tired, whiny bitch. I want you to keep fucking your cunt with your fingers, toys, what-have-you until I come back and not a moment less", he had started with.

And that's (part of) the story of why my pussy lips are feeling sore today. How was your saturday night?

Greenery

2011-09-08T22:08:00.001-04:00

My 30th year on this planet brought a lot of changes in my life. I move hundred of kilometers away from home, so I found myself in a new city. Far from the comfort of routine surroundings, friends ands family.

Coincidently, I decided to give in to experiences I always denied myself. Mostly smoking weed.

What a glorious experience that was. I still remember my first orgasm while high. It felt like I was cumming for hours, completely disconnected from time and space. I absolutely will transfer this solo experience to an actual fucking while high as I am sure I will be fond of it.

I forgot how you feel about being called daddy ?

2011-09-08T21:52:00.003-04:00

That's always a curse when you are chatting this guy up and suddenly you don't fucking remember WHO he is.

In bed.

You know him, his name, the name of his wife, even down to her favorite place for vacations, for fuck sake! Yet, you have this awkward moment trying to remember... Does he do the daddy thing or no?

Not that it's a requisite for me to call my lovers daddy. I am probably the girl on earth with the less daddy issues ever. No one was more beautiful or smart in my father's eyes then myself.

But that's not the point of this.

I need to know what my mate is all about. It's fun when I'm satisfied, but I like using dirty talk that works for the 2 of us. And how can I ask that question without sounding like the world`s bigger whore? Yeah sorry, I fucked so many guys since I last talked to you I don't remember...

Sex Nine One One

2011-09-06T08:43:00.004-04:00

So I pulled a muscle in my calf. From tensing up too much during my 4th or 5th orgasm of the night on Sunday. It's embarassing in itself. But more funny then anything.

Got me thinking about the various sex injuries I subjected myself to over the years. One memorable one was when I was a few months shy of 19 years old. Picture a slimer me with perkier boobs if that doesn't give you a nosebleed.

So I was fucking my then-boyfriend on his waterbed. I'll really have to describe the position as well as I can here, because it's a fairly weird thing to picture. He was standing up on it (bad idea in itself, but when you're young and horny this is far from the stupidest thing you'd do).

Or maybe it's quite simple, I was doing the bridge. As I said he was standing up, so I had my legs around his waist and my hands on the mattress, boobs facing up. Whatever prompted us to fuck that way I will never remember, but thinking back he would often fuck me in this position. Regardless, the problem came quickly, as you can imagine, with the stability of the surface and the heavyness of my breasts.

Almost broke my damn neck. Seriously injuried it enough we had to go to the hospital and I officially had a wryneck for a few days.

Yup, we both came.

Baby I'm ready to go....

2011-09-06T00:39:00.005-04:00

Yup. So I didn't blogged for almost a year. I actually didn't get laid in a year. Why? Who cares why whores don't get fucked.

I moved. So far away from home. Not that I didn't had a hundred opportunities and a half to get some. I thought I'd do this. The reverse of a slutty challenge. No sex. One year.

Masturbation doesn't count. Neither does phone sex. I was just challenging, not punishing myself.

I'm probably be dead if I couldn't have any release.

So here is my confession. I am broken. I always was, but the years made it worse. And my year of celibacy thought me... That I am a whore. And I am broken. Always was, always will be. More zen and wise with the years. But one truth remains.

I am a whore. I will never settle down. And I will never be faithful.

Sucks to be the one who loves me and wants so much to be with me right now. I warned him. He wouldn't listen.

Should rename this blog Cuckold Heaven.

You're strange, insane, one thing you can never change

Juicy Fruit

2011-09-05T00:43:00.002-04:00

I wish I had a rational explanation for this. It will be confusing to my readers to even attempt to follow up the crazy strings of events.

I am being romanced by a very nice boy who wants the same things I want out of life. And sexually we click. A lot. But he's absolutely not turned on by the idea of me being on my knees sucking another cock while he watches and comments on my whorish ways.

Actually... He has no idea about this blog. He knows about my past sexual life: he doesn't think me a virgin or anything. But, as the song goes... Scotty doesn't know...

And lately we had a weird thing going on. Especially tonight. We had awesome phone sex. Mindblowing orgasm I had. Then someone poked me on skype.

I wish I had a rational explanation for this. I said this already. And I truly do. But I watched that other guy jerk off while saying dirty things to me. I came 3 times with him.

I am hopeless.

Also, welcome back.

Twisted lyrics.

2011-09-05T00:33:00.003-04:00

I just have my own version of some Nine Inch Nails lyrics in my head right now. I am not even yet in a relationship and I am already cheating on him.

Oh my beautiful liar
I am your secret whore.
Its a diseased, an infection.
I am. So impure.

I should not let you use me up that much. I like it too much. Its not good.

Dont hold your breath

2010-10-28T07:22:00.000-04:00

I think I was just kidding myself in thinking I was up to continue this blog.

Ciao and thanks for everything.

Routine sex

2010-10-13T16:48:00.003-04:00

With one of my ex, no matter what we started doing in bed, the grand finale would often be the same: I'm on my back while he's kneeling near my head. I'm licking and sucking on his cock while he fingers me: often up to fisting if I was very horny.

We'd usually bot cum at the same time: I'd squirt while he covers me with his seed.

Spontaneous Orgasms.

2010-10-12T07:31:00.003-04:00

It's pretty neat washing your hair in the shower and suddenly have a very pleasurable wave overcoming your body.

Martini night

2010-10-07T07:33:00.003-04:00

Getting drunk with your gay roommate at 4$ martini night in Toronto means learning WAY more about gay sex than you'd ever want to know.

Not that it was gross or anything, but we learned that we both swallow, that he doesn't have the hips to take on big cocks ("Come on JD, it's a cock not a baby!" I might have yelled in the café) and that we are both looking forward a date with a new guy in the upcoming days.

No, not the same guy.

Purple and spiky

2010-10-06T07:40:00.002-04:00

Since I moved, I found all my sex toys to be very boring and routinesque.

So I ordered a new sex toy online last night.

It's purple and spiky (soft silicon, nothing too rough) and with so many bells and whistles I wonder if it will really get me where I need to go.

The annoying thing is, I can only cum once when I masturbate. So I want to make it a very BIG and intense orgasm.

I'll give you a report when it gets here.

Coworkers crush?

2010-10-05T22:25:00.004-04:00

There are two of my coworkers who are bringing lustyful thoughts in my head.

I already talked about one of them, so it's pointless for me to mention how I'm picturing him fucking me on the desk that we share, pounding me hard from behind afters hours.... or on our lunch break.

I find myself having daydreams of lesbian sex with one of my female coworker as well. I usually don't go for the petite type, but she is definitely cute. If she wasn't married and muslim, I'd make a move on her.

New section: more updates

2010-09-22T17:20:00.003-04:00

I'm aiming to update 3 times a week, so I need a new format.

I'll start answering fanmail!

How can your questions be featured? It's quite easy. You can either reach me on twitter or send me an email.

I was wondering, how is sex affecting your behavior at work. Are you thinking about it even while working?

I do think about sex at work. Don't we all? It usually doesn't hinder my performances too much. I do have to take masturbation breaks once in a while to relieve the pressure, but just the fact I'm doing it in public makes me horny enough to get off quickly.

While shopping for an Halloween costume...

2010-09-20T23:18:00.002-04:00

While shopping for an Halloween costume on eBay, I was looking at the corset. My roommate was looking at my screen and commented that I must be looking forward a hot date.

Well, see, I'm one of those people who have very little interest in getting dressed to get undress.

Blame it on the fact I've started, way too young, to date foot and nylon fetichists. That I'm just so comfortable being naked. That I hate being stared at. Whatever you decide if my reason behind it: I'll likely never will get into spiked heels, nylon & a corset to turn on my partner.

Men are visual creatures, I fully understand that. Yet, it's just not my cup of tea.

A pretty mouth

2010-09-19T09:51:00.002-04:00

Saying pervese things, does that turn you on?

I love when my partner encourage me in my dirty talk pleasure. When he makes me say naughty things about myself. When he makes me say I'm a cum hungry whore and I want to be covered in his seed.

I masturbate a bit too much lately.

Glasses Fetish

2010-09-14T22:07:00.002-04:00

I must have mentionned this one or twice before: I'm a sucker for a guy wearing glasses.

A new workplace has the merit of coming with lots of potential eye candy on that aspect. New guys I can look and then let my imagination run wild.

I'm lucky enough to be blessed with one of those hot specimen in my training class. 30 pounds more and this guy would be my dream fantasies.

What can I say? Something get me weak in the knees at the idea of a blue-eyed guy wearing glasses coming over to kiss me roughly.

Now the actual sex...

Slut Holiday

2010-08-29T09:34:00.002-04:00

I'll be silent for a week or two as I'm in the middle of an out of province move.

I fully intent to resume my slutty activities in mid-september, so stay tuned!

Moving day

2010-08-26T23:24:00.003-04:00

The fun thing about moving is finding creative hiding places for your sex toys.

I'll still write "Sex Toys" on a box containing very innocent stuff, or perhaps kitchen utensils. Frankly, my friend expect this of me.

I also took the opportunity to do a clean up in my sex toys and throw out a few. I'll say a garbage bag with a little hole on the side is normal. But when you know you have quite a large dildo in it, you are afraid that it will poke out of the hole. Or what if the bag rip open when the garbage men come tomorrow?

Hopefully I don't have any personnal info in that bag!

The dangers of monogamy

2010-08-25T01:33:00.002-04:00

It's a pretty loaded title, I realize that.

I also know how it goes. You met someone new. You spend hours discovering each other in bed. You don't call your friend as often as usual. You start every sentence with "My boyfriend said this" or "My boyfriend and I did that".

That's it. You are in a relationship.

The danger of monogamy, for my account, is that it's taking away a bit of my freedom. Of my mojo. Of myself.

See, I'm one who gets a little bit diluted each time I'm in a relationship. I tend to get involved with people who give too little, and who take too much out of me. It's one of the many reasons I try to keep an open mind and live my life thhe way I want: I'm happiest when I don't have someone to answer to.

I get it, my ways aren't for everyone. But I'm a slut. I don't care much about being loved. As long as I fuck.

Filthy mouth

2010-08-24T18:03:00.002-04:00

It's always awkward, fucking in silence. I need moaning, grunting, but ideally, some dirty dirty talk.

I just prefer being called a whore when a guy shove my head in the pillows while fucking me from behind.

I respond well to being called a greedy slut when I lick the last cum drop off a cock.

I purr with pleasure when a few "fucking cunt" are being whispered in my direction when I'm being pounded hard.

And I especially love hearing "I'm going to fill you up with cum, slut" when a guy is fucking my ass.

Embarrassment

2010-08-23T14:00:00.002-04:00

Embarrassment is an interesting part of D/s play. I forgot how exquisite it was, until yesterday afternoon.

There is nothing more delicious than a lazy sunday spent in bed with a lover. Fondling, kissing, cuddling, and having sex.

It's the way I have my butt up in the air, his hands grabbing at both cheeks, spreading them, and looking at my eager wet cunt before fucking it that drives me wild. Making me feel so submissive, as if I was indeed nothing more to him than an eager fucktoy, a wet cunt, a whore.

And the grunting when he's about to cum, that pushes me over the edge each time.

Overflow

2010-08-21T13:13:00.002-04:00

I love feeling his cum filling me up.

Especially that last time: he was taking me roughly, from behind, doggy-style. And I had an orgasm right when his cum started hitting my gspot while cumming out. His grunting and slow thrusting at that moment pushed me over the edge.

But he didn't stop there. He buried himself further inside my cunt, now overflowing with his cum. It felt like he came for a good minute.

I could feel his seed slowly dripping out of my eager pussy, dripping on my clit, while we were both moaning in extasy.

Did you ever got caught?

2010-08-12T10:35:00.002-04:00

That was an interesting question to get thrown my way while we were mutually masturbating each other.

"Did you ever got caught masturbating?"

I smiled. I had. Both in a sexy and unsexy anecdote.

And since, the question sprung some naughty fantasies of being caught.

May be by a stranger, in a public setting? May be by my lover, who then ravage me?

A mix of shame and arousal is slowly rising in me, being discovered. What are they going to do? Keep watching? Join in?

So many direction this fantasy can take...

Have YOU ever been caught masturbating?

The more, the less

2010-08-09T11:05:00.003-04:00

It's not a surprise, in fact this hapenned before as well. The more sex I have, the less I write.

Which is sad for those who come here to read about the sex I had!

If I could make a synopsis of my week, I realized that I love making out in pubs and I should do this more often. Especially with girls. Or a girl in particular. My attraction to girls is very different than my sexual interest in guys. I want guys to be rough with me. I like being all soft and cuddly with a girl.

Perhaps that's why I enjoy 3somes that much, it's really the best of both worlds.

In fact the night almost ended in a threesome on wednesday night. I was having a night out with a girl friend of mine (can we call it a date?!) and we were making out and generally enjoying each others' company. Then a guy I met off OKCUPID came and joined us.

Little did I know the evening ended up in a 3 way make out: me with her, her with him, him with me.

Good sexual energy overall. Loved it.

Splash Mountains!

2010-08-02T19:50:00.003-04:00

I love feeling a thick cock inside me rubbing on my gspot, making me squirt from delightful pleasures.

I like being with a guy who is absolutely turned on by the fact I squirt. Who wants to pin my hands down over my head, leaving my body defenceless while they finger me roughing and bite my nipples, watching my reaction as I moan, squirm and cum all over the place.

I want to lick and play with a girl until she too rewards me with her sweet love nectar. Savouring her on my tongue while I hear her low whispers of pleasure.

Dammit, I don't know which of the 2 scenarios is the hottest!

Spanks!

2010-07-30T00:24:00.003-04:00

I only ever met one guy who could spank me until I cried cause it hurted very much.

Some guys are using their belt and I'm moaning, but not much more.

I'm a weak person, especially when it comes to upper body strenght, but I always have trouble conceiving that a guy cannot spank me on the verge of tears on his own.

I adore having sex with a Dominant guy who is into spanking a nice big firm ass. Watch his handprints turn bright red on my fair pale skin. Watch me cringe the next day when I sit on a rough surface, cause he knows I'm in pain because of him.

Ask and you shall receive

2010-07-28T14:15:00.003-04:00

Well... my "dry spell" is over.

Many would argue that I did not have a dry spell at all, but the way I see it, you can end up in bed with 20 people if you want, if they do not penetrate you, it's not real sex.

Bill Clinton would be so proud.

Anyhow, I was eager to find a compatible partner to go over my month and a half dry spell. And boy, did I get a treat.

I'll break the heart of a few people by admitting he is a reader too, but I'm willing to deal with the whining.

It just felt RIGHT. A few moments after seeing him for the first time, first date Sunday night at his place to boot, I knew I wanted him deep, deep inside me.

The feeling was mutual as I left his place the next day at around 1 PM monday and we fucked 5 times.

Five. Times.

I'm not saying I never had crazy sex marathon before. I'm just saying being roughly fucked fives times on a first date after a little dry spell was like heaven on earth to me! Panting, squirting, spanking orgasms.

I went back for second (technically 6th & 7th) last night and left this morning after one more good deep fuck. For good luck.

I'm sore and under-rested.

Life's great.

Shiny New Australia

2010-07-12T04:59:00.002-04:00

I had no freaking idea the night would end this way. Even in my wildest dreams.

I invited myself over one of my friend's last night. He was bored downtown and I was bored at home. Why don't we have dinner at his new place? Hopped on a cab and away I went!

Making food, getting a tour of the new place and getting drunk, way drunk. A dear girlfriend of mine happens to have moved recently in his area, and I meant to introduce them for the longest time. Tonight seemed like the perfect time!

Well... food was nice, booze was a plenty and the air was super warm, so we decided to all hide in the only room with AC, the bedroom.

Long story short... there is absolutely nothing sexier than a naked plus size woman's body in the moonlight. With her in the bed with me, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

Oh I'm sure my friend had a blast too, at one point he was eating her out while fingering me, too roughly, too intensely.

It's funny how I act in bed with girls: there is no play of dominance and submission at all. It's an all explore fest where I'm more than happy to dive in and lick her delicious flower while slowly fingering it. She was oh so tight and her moans where so soft and delicious.

I've come to wonder lately if I was truly bi or if I just didn't mind when a girl was in bed with me and another guy. Well, for all I cared tonight the guy could have got up and go out, I was having my girl on girl moment :)

Though he did had his 15 minutes of fame when we decided to blow him both at the same time. There is something about 2 mouths on the same cock at once that drives guys wild...

How NOT to win me over.

2010-07-11T15:17:00.004-04:00

I've had a number of unpleasant exchanges recently with an handfuls of applicants.

Cause that's how my friends decided to name the guys I'm chatting with. :)

So applicants. I'd say 90% of them have no idea how to talk to a woman. This is sad enough on it's own. But most importantly, they are confusing slutty with easy and dominance with lack of respect.

Ever heard of the princess by day, slut by night phenomenon? That's were I'm at.

I certainly have no desire to invite you in my bedroom at 3 am when I don't know you so you can slap me around and fuck me in to ass. Geez. There are steps to every relationships, even if it's a casual one, and coming in my bedroom in the middle of the night is one you can only get AFTER a good dozen other steps are taken!

I don't do one night stand. I'm a woman living alone so there's no fucking way I'm letting strangers in my appartment.

And ever if we appears compatible sexually, I still need substance. There gotta be a spark, a connection. I have an amazing sense of humour, I want a man who makes me laugh, as well as making me cum. If you freak me out over MSN, don't be surprised when I block you. If you act creepy during our first date, don't be surprised when it's the last one. When you are a real jerk on the phone, don't be surprised I suddenly remember this important other thing I had to do.

The guys I'm (not) seeing

2010-07-10T12:28:00.002-04:00

Well, my pool of partners evaporated under the scorching sun it seems.

I'm left with a handful of guys with whom I fool around but don't fuck. Went on a few unsuccessful dates in the past weeks, and the one stable fuckbuddy I had is letting me go in favor of the girl we had 3somes with.

At least I have plenty of eager phone sex buddies, two new ones this week :)

But fooling around and touching myself is nice, but I'm still looking for that one special cock to rock my world.

Or you know, 2-3. I like sharing.

Phonesex II

2010-07-02T23:48:00.002-04:00

I felt cheap: no updates for a week and then a weak post you can't jack off to.

I'm surprised I didn't had a "dirty talk" tag before.

You know what really gets me going? Dirty talk.

May be that's why I love phone sex so much. Sharing dirty little secrets and fantasies and touching yourself the way you want to be touched why you hear those naughty things.

I cum very hard when I'm called a whore, a slut, a worthless cunt... most guys don't have the balls to be rough and take charge the way I'd want them to do in bed, but with buffer of the phone and their imagination, suddenly I'm being thrown on the bed, savagely molested and raped until I cry for mercy.

You know, the way I really want to be fucked.

The men in my life...

2010-07-02T23:36:00.002-04:00

I have a couple of guys right now with whom I'm involved, on different levels.

I've realized tonight that they each answer a different need I need to have in a relationship.

So while I do not actually love anyone right now, I feel complete because pretty much all my needs are covered.

Asides from, you know, actual fucking :P

I shall get to that shortly.

Phonesex

2010-06-26T10:53:00.003-04:00

With a boner inducing voice like mine, it would be nothing short of a crime if I didn't indulge in a good session of phonesex one in a while.

Perhaps my flavor-of-the-month is out of town and honry, perhaps my lover and I live on opposite side of the Montreal island, may be it's just so late and none of us have a car, perhaps you just call me randomly to ask me if my pussy's wet...

Whatever the reason is, I regularly find myself one hand on my cell phone and the other one on my clit.

"Make yourself squirt" they often request. Which is always easy with dirty, dirty talk.

I like sharing fantasies on the phone and hearing the guy orgasms from my slutty moaning. It often brings me to the edge very quickly. I'm always sad that all this cum is going to waste by not filling my ass, my mouth, my cunt or covering my breasts.

Male to go, hold the feelings

2010-06-23T19:55:00.003-04:00

I wish I could order a guy, like men can order escorts.

I have a very specific list of things that I like/need/want. Used in different combo, this creates interresting lovers.

I need a man who is with me, sexually, because he likes plump woman, he enjoys my curves and my big... talents.

I need a man who is insatiable. I am horny all the time, I need someone who is prepared to deal with that.

I need a man who is smart. Diploma or not. Well read. I do not cum when I'm pounded by a construction worker who has no idea who Freud is.

I need a tall man. While I do have a preference for very big tall guys, I just honestly need the guy to be taller than me and that's it. Even only by an inch. I'm done with the short-guy complex. People, embrace who you are! Play the hand you're dealt, even if you have to bluff to make it through the day.

I need a husky man who wears glasses. I'm obviously very flexible on this point, but this is a... can you really call it a fetish? Pretty much...

I need a guy who's his own person. He lives alone, drives his own car, has a job. I'm tired of boys living in their mothers' basements.

I need a dominant man. That is more important than it ever was before. I enjoy all sort of sex, but I only truly get off when I'm being used.

I need a guy who doesn't want to put up with my shit and is strong enough to tell me to shut the fuck up, to stop pouting and stop being so goddamn lazy. I want to look up to him, to get inspired to be a better person, to hold myself to a higher standard.

And I need to get GREAT sex. Stat.

This isn't a post

2010-06-22T09:49:00.002-04:00

It's more of a collection of random sentences with very little things in common.

I ended up in bed with a friend 2 nights ago. For the second time. He's so deep in the friend zone, yet we do sleep together. No actual sex though. I do enjoy having him in my mouth and licking his cum off his stomach. I'm unable to orgasm with him. My weird female brain decided it's because he's in the friend zone.

Cab drivers are always nice with me, but lately they've been flirty. I do have this "fuck me" vibe to myself lately. I'll be honest, if yesterday's cab driver would have made a move, I would have given him my number.

My apartment is a mess. It's not nasty, it's just messy. Very messy. I have a semi-heart attack each time I come in my living room. I need to organize my life better than this, I'm actually not taking boys home because I'm ashamed of my apartment.

My work ethics are going out the window lately. I'm not pleased about this. Then again I'm fed up with work. I should do something before I end up jobless. How is that relevant to my sex blog? Sometimes I'm so tired after a crazy wild nights that I sleep through the next day instead of working. I keep joking that I should become a whore. Well... perhaps this will become a necessity if I keep this up!

I miss...

2010-06-19T17:14:00.003-04:00

I miss good sex.

Getting to know someone, and they get to know you. They knows what you like, what you love, and what you don't care about.

You know how they breathe when they're about to cum, you know how they will moan when you do that twisty handjob while you blow them. They knows just where to touch you to drive you wild and what to say to make you cum.

I miss sharing my fantasies with someone. I miss feeling cum filling up my ass.

I miss not having to go out first: just a quick phone call and the best laid plans are unfolding quickly, simply.

I miss falling asleep next to a warm body, sticky from our mixed juices.

I miss waking up and slowly stroking their cock. Waking them up with a morning blowjob.

I miss taking my shower with someone.

I miss all the intimacy of sex. I really do. But I prefer being single.

Perhaps I have it all wrong and I should be the one looking for a part time boyfriend?

Balance

2010-06-16T08:54:00.004-04:00

Last month, I was having issues with too much play hindering my work.I woke up a couple of times in another bed than mine, and way too often in my own bed with someone else next to me.

This month it's the total opposite. My work is making me cancel dates. Some very promising ones I had lots of hopes for. Not romantic hopes, off course, just some interesting sexual vibes I was getting from the guys.

So I do some massive amounts of self-love in the meanwhile. I'm so horny this week that it doesn't take me much to squirt like a fountain when I do so.

Any good porn you want to share?

Fuckable boobs

2010-06-13T11:29:00.002-04:00

I noticed how rarely lately my boobs are being fucked.

I had a date friday and the guy fucked my tits for a while. I forgot how turned on this makes me!

Sadly, I was on the rag that night so I wouldn't let him stuff his thick cock in my pussy, but thankfully he seemed satisfied with all the rest we did. I was craving a nice big cock in my mouth for over a week and boy, did I got a treat.

Oh and I need to carry lube with me. Anal sex without lube from my gushing squirting pussy is painful the next day.

Sex on the mind

2010-06-13T11:09:00.002-04:00

I often get the comment that I really must be a man: that no woman is THAT sex-driven. And that this blog is fake.

Well, sorry to disappoint, but I am a very sex-driven person.

When I meet a new guy, I think about his potential in the sack before I even consider having romantic feelings for him. Only after he proved himself worthy of my sexy naked time, do I start to think where I want things to go with him.

I flirt, shamelessly, with a lot of guys in a day. I try to avoid drama as much as possible and I dislike having to report what I'm doing, where I am and with who I am to someone else.

I brag to my friends (and in this blog) about my sex stories and I definitely sleep with male friends of mine with no fear of "ruining the friendship".

In some other ways, I'm typically female. I hate feeling taken advantage of, I need to be comfortable with someone before going to bed with them and I do enjoy cuddling and making out for hours.

In what ways are you different than the stereotype of your own gender?

Late night realizations

2010-06-11T09:22:00.004-04:00

Some friends bring up the most profound introspection in the middle of our late night chats.

I'm very happy being single and I do not need to keep in touch with my lovers daily.

Expect if we decide to play full on D/s. I cannot be happy in a non committed D/s playground.

Sure, a little spanking's nice, and I wouldn't mind being fucked hard and fast and roughly by my lovers. But if they want me to call them Sir, and everything that is entailed, I need more than just random encounters without any meaning.

If history taught me one thing, is that I am full of devotion for that one person who I play with: it's always been like that in my past relationships.

And it's... perverse, in an horrible way, to be dedicated to someone who doesn't care about you the way you care about them, who goes AWOL for days, sometimes an entire week. Drove me completely bonkers and unleashed my inner psycho bitch. Not a good thing. I had an horrible week last week due to that.

I always have a grand sense of accomplishment when I figure out something about the way my universe works.

So my order for the universe now is an handful of competant lovers (with working cocks please) and may be, may be one person to play seriously with?

When dates go wrong.

2010-06-10T22:14:00.003-04:00

So I'm in the middle of a "recruitment" period, so to speak, for new lovers.

It's interesting how many guys are so creepy. Men seem to think if they wave around a big cock, we'll come running to them.

As a joke, one of them said "I watched too much porn lately and I'm shocked every nigh that there is no whore that would just come and knock at my door to fuck me.".

That was off course, hilarious. But I'm sad to report some guys DO think this way.

And they seem to think cause I'm a girl and I am looking for sex, I am waiting for them on my back, spread eagle with a dildo up my cunt with a "come hither" look on my face.

I need to be friend with a guy, feel a connection before I let him be my partner for some bedroom Olympics. Chemistry is something you test online, chatting, but then you have to go through the annoyance of the first date.

Perhaps I should take note from Barney Stinson and practice the lemon law of dating?

An unexpected turn of events

2010-06-08T07:25:00.003-04:00

I totally and willingly sabotaged something I had going on with a guy this week end.

Why? Cause I fell in love with him and I hated the way he was treating me.

"Shit or get off the pot" is a favorite expression of mine.

Apparently he decided he'd rather get off the pot!

Why can't men be honest and just say "I don't love you, I just want to fuck you once in a while. I don't want to hang out with you and be your friend, I just want to come over and fuck you whenever I feel like it." I could deal with that better than how things turned out!

One day I'll be smart enough to get involved with someone who know what he wants and won't stutter trying to explain it, contradicting himself every other words.

Fucking sucks though cause the sex was GREAT. Asides from the actual fucking... that was just...strange.

My first Bondage cuffs

2010-06-07T14:02:00.002-04:00

Asides from the gag police type of handcuffs, my first item of serious bondage gear was a pair of leather cuffs.

I must have been 18 at the time. I was at a sex shop with my then boyfriend.

I unfortunately lost them in the various moves I've been through in that past decade, but I still remember them fondly.

I have a pair of fabric bondage cuffs now, gift from a recent hookup. The Velcro does a good job, sturdier than one might think. The tightness of the cuffs put me in a good head space. I missed that.

I enjoy the feeling of being tied up, used up, abused, in bed. In my real life, not so much.

Where am I going with this post?

I guess I just need a good deep rough fuck right now, that would put my wandering thoughts into place.

This is a sex blog

2010-06-07T09:35:00.003-04:00

So if you ever have to use Kleenex, better be cause you're jerking off instead of getting misty eyes.

That's why I won't blog about too deep or emotional stuff. Some people don't get that. They think I'm a shallow bitch always looking for her next fuck.

Well... I AM, but that's not the point. I'm not shallow. I am nothing but the shell of a constant emotional whirlpool. Every day I go through maelstroms of feelings.

I might very well be bipolar, but I function better without medication. As long as I don't hurt myself or others, right?

My default mood is "happy", not "depressed", so I take it as a sign that things evolved in my life.

Last night, I asked my most recent ex how I should get over my current ... disatisfaction with the way a potential relationship with a guy turned out. He replied "random sex".

Ironic how apparently the problem at hand is I cannot sustain a monogamous relationship. I'm a whore, I fuck around and nobody could change anything about it... Ain't life grand?

Is communication dead? Why people rather accuse, judge and carry the execution on their perception of things instead of, you know, inquire if their perception is accurate?

It's a bit of a self fullfilling prophecy too. Like hell I'm going to try and open up to anyone now about wanting to be with them. They all stay on my fuckbuddy roster and that's it!

That and I'm not nearly having sex enough lately. Especially anal sex. I crave it like the blinds crave seeing the light.

Look honey, ho hands!

2010-06-05T09:58:00.002-04:00

I was having a light discussion with a friend on the subject of cuckolding and threesomes.

Some people are insanely turned on at the sight of their mate getting it on with someone else. Others get mad, jealous, angry at this scene.

So it translates into 3somes as well: if you don't get turned on by your lover having sex with someone else, you might not like having them bumping uglies in the bed next to you.

As for me, I stop loving my mate when we are having a 3some. Not forever. Takes a day or two to recover. It's probably a defense mechanism to avoid feeling hurt and allowing me to enjoy the experience.

I always found it funny how I can fall in and out of love rapidly. Very quickly.

Spirits for the spirit

2010-06-02T10:32:00.004-04:00

Nothing like a drunken night out to lift up your spirit.

While I did not, in fact, picked up a stranger and brought him home, I still managed to get absolutely awesome mind blowing sex until 3 AM. The little hours of sleep one gets after sex & booze and before getting up for work are so... surreal. I love it.

My pussy is sore. Beyond sore. "Used up" is the term that comes to mind, from his fist and cock and mouth. I do not think I'll be ABLE to have sex for a couple of days. And the few pokes of his cock in my ass were so delicious I was squirting instantly.

The way is cock rubs against my pussy before we fuck, teasing, titillating... it's so terribly erotic I have pulses in my cunt thinking about it right now.

That and how stingy my right buttcheek feels.

I feel invisible.

2010-06-01T16:17:00.002-04:00

Ignored.

And I don't like this.

I get it, I'm not your priority in life. We're not officially dating, we are just hanging out. We just ended up in bed after a drunken night. You just come over one in a while to fuck me. I just go down on you whenever you call me up for a quick blow job. We just had phone sex a few times before you stood me up. I just tickly your fancy and you chat me up on MSN whenever you are horny. You held me in your arms and told me about that girl you loved. You said I gave you the best orgasm of 2010 and I replied while laughing that the year was just started. You all got busy lifes and you are sorry you're not keeping in touch more often... I get it.

Well all of you are making me feel invisible. Ignored. Unimportant. And I do not like this.

It's the trade of whores, to be fucked but unloved. Perhaps I should start charging?

Voyeur

2010-05-31T18:02:00.001-04:00

The guys I sleep with that knows my blog are disappointed when I don't write more about them.

The guys I sleep with who don't know my blog could be surprised to read about themselves.

I do tend to censor myself when I want to write about certain things when I know the main subject of a post would be reading it later.

But no more... you're gonna get it :)

Booze makes me horny

2010-05-28T08:46:00.002-04:00

I rarely go "dead drunk". I often tackle the "tipsy" stage however.

I'm super horny when I'm drunk.

It's not a earth shattering declaration, is it? How many one night stands originated from alcohol after all? Some even drink to give then an excuse to have sex with a stranger for one night.

While I do get horny when I drink, I must prefer having sex while I'm sober.

I don't do drugs, so I can't comment on having sex while stoned out of your ass, but for me, sex is much more enjoyable when I can fully remember what I did the night before.

That and I'm sure I'd hate the feeling of waking up next to a stranger. I choose very carefully the men I wake up next to and I wouldn't be happy otherwise. Well, asides from my slip up of a couple of weeks ago, but we'll get on that some other time...

How about you, horny crowd, sex while shitfaced, yay or nay?

If I must be lonely, I guess I'd rather be alone

2010-05-27T22:33:00.003-04:00

I know people who are in relationships, disfunctional relationships, because they are simply afraid of being alone.

I've been single, by choice, for 7 months now. Is it the longest I've ever been single? I think so.

I'm up to double this length of time. Course I'll fall in love. But I enjoy my singledom too much right now.

It's not the scare of potential monogamy: while it's not my cup of tea, that's one of the rare things I'd be wllling to sacrifice. It's not the fear of commitment: I've always been very dedicated to my boyfriends and I was their number one fan, often to my own detriment.

But it's just that. Detriment. I become someone I do not like when I'm in a long term relationship. I sit in my complacence and I cease to be this ambitious and independant young woman I truly am.

I am enjoying my singledom. And living on my own. I am not ready to compromise on anything right now: I've been doing this all my life with roommates and boyfriends.

And loneliness is pretty awesome when I spend it with myself.

Hardcore romance

2010-05-25T12:49:00.003-04:00

For some reason, a pseudo-cybersex discussion with an old old friend on MSN last night got on the subject of romance novels.

Funnily enough, half the time those 10$ romance novels in depanneurs in the metro are effign hardcore.

I discovered this fact very pleasantly when I bought one cause I had a long bus ride, years ago and just found myself... placing my coat on my laps and be "inspired" by the book.

Heck I still remember "that one" I was reading.

"Poised atop the dark-haired beauty, Dominic Dragon of Pendragon pumped vigorously between his mistress's plump white thighs. Raising himself up on his elbows, he watched her face as she moaned and tossed her head in wild abandon."

How can I not enjoy this novel tremendously?

It's literary porn.

It's on

2010-05-24T00:08:00.002-04:00

Yes.

I noticed I barely blogged about it at all.

I'm seeing a guy I like a lot.

But more importantly: I'm a sub again.

I feel more... dedicated to him than the previous guy I played with. Even if I am naturally submissive in bed, not all guys bring it out of me to the same level.

But him... I couldn't melt in a puddle on the floor if he asked me too.

And he's really into spanking. Intensely. I can't feel my butt for a couple of days when he leaves my place.

The way he holds me down and do whatever he wants with me is... enthralling. Captivating. I could look at him looking at me, at my reaction for hours.

I have an infinite trust in him also and let him blindfold and tie me up at his will. My body reacts very well to him. His voice makes me shivers, his touch makes me quivers, my whole body is at attention when we play. I find it very interresting.

I'm seriously having the "sexual" time of my life.

And we don't even fuck.

Why porn gave men unrealistic expectation about their own penises sizes and performance.

2010-05-23T11:32:00.002-04:00

I usually try not to tease (at least on this blog!) but I'm really only making this placeholder cause this topic is long overdue and I want to force myself to write it over the long week end.

Alright, the cliffhanger is over.

And I don't mean the LOST Serie Finale that just finished.

Why porn gave men unrealistic expectation about their own penises sizes and performance.

The average length of a fully erected penis is 5.5 inches.

Not very impressive huh?

Male porn stars are hired for their huge schlong and their stamina in bed. I don't go out of an action movie trying to jump from one building to the next in slow motion, why should you watch porn and try anal reverse cowgirl on a footrest for 45 minutes?

I find it funny that guy use porn to compare their penises... why are you focusing on the fact your cock looks nothing like the one on the screen? The girl you're fucking looks nothing like the one on screen either! Why aren't you focusing on THAT? :)

Here's an answer for you: cause just like your dick's size, you can't do anything about it. Learn to enjoy what you have and be happy.

Just like women are obsessed with diet and staying thin, men are forever obsessed with their cocks.

"I'd be so happier with just a couple inches more" a friend of mine complained in bed last week.
"You, you and absolutely every other men in the universe" I replied.

We are never satisfied with what we have. It's human nature.

I've slept with my fair share of men in the past 16 years. Tall, fat, thin, short.

Not two cocks are alike. I can definitely remember the thickest one, the longest one, the shortest one and the thinnest one. Some had very large well defined head, others you couldn't tell where the head ended and the shaft started. Some gave a few drips of cum, others offered a geyser of semen. Some balls hang high and tight, other low and loose...

We female all have our preference over what we like in terms of cock. Same way you guys have your preference when it comes to us: tall, thin, blonde, big boobs, short, chubby, brunettes, tiny tits...

Focus on liking yourself, and look for someone who will do the same for you. And you will have a great time in bed.

So drop that ruler and remember: porn is unrealistic, just like any other Hollywood movie.

Jealousy

2010-05-20T09:36:00.003-04:00

I had a couple of deep discussions lately, with old friends and new lovers, on relationships, on love and mostly on jealousy.

The main topic at key always was my lack of jealousy. I can be envious, or disappointed, but I'm just not jealous. Especially not in love. And it just might be a defense mechanism, or I'm just truly broken.

I was born with a lot of emotional defects, see. In a given situation, I'm always part of the 1% of the population who reacts differently from the crowd. It used to annoy me, how everybody was weird and different; in my eyes off course my ways were the best ones. Now I fully realize and embrace that I'm the odd one out. Heck, I'm a odd duck and I'm happily swimming in my pond of singularity.

But it gets complicated when it comes to relationships. Most men are quite happy with just fucking me: after all why buy the cow if you can have the milk for free? Quite a lot of them also enjoy my company: I'm truly a fun person to have around and if only for the hundreds of crazy stories I have to tell, I am extremely entertaining. I'm a smart and well read woman who can hold a discussion on a wide variety of subjects, sex-related or not. But very few of them would make me their girlfriend.

It's an age old dilemma, isn't it? You fuck the whore and marry the saint. It's also a terrible hypocrisy. Why do you ythink so many marriage ends up in divorce? So many celebrity marriage scandals end up on the Internet? I don't envy the well-educated nice girls who get offered an engagement ring right out of college. They do get cheated on.

And while I don't believe in monogamy, I don't believe in lying to your partner either. And in their case, discovering your partner infidelity is a life-breaking event. So yes, honestly, I don't envy them. Then again it's a very complicated game I play. And it dawned on me recently that I will probably never be able to find a perfect partner. Someone who, like me, both harvest the desire to have a big family, and understand my need to be in someone elses' arms once in a while.

That wouldn't make me any less of a good wife & mother. I'd likely do everything in my power not to let that affect our day to day life. And I would be the type of wife to encourage my husband to go and fuck some young and tender woman once in a while too.

Physical desires and matters of the heart are so different, I never understood why people often make them mutually exclusive.

Mono-gamey?

2010-05-15T21:45:00.003-04:00

I never truly understood the concept of monogamy.

One of the earliest confusion about monogamy I can remember must have hapenned when I was 10 or 11. I had a crush on a boy and I asked him to be his girlfriend. He looked at me, very puzzled, and told me he already had a girlfriend.

He was puzzled you see cause his girlfriend was a good friend of mine at the time. I look at him, even more puzzled. "Why can't you have two?" I offered. I returned to my Archie comic, unable to understand why that cartoon guy could share his love and affection between a blonde Betty and a brunette Veronica, sometimes even a hot red head, and we couldn't.

Turns out monogamy is linked to jealousy and love somewhat. The first one is a human concept I'm not very knowledgeable in. See, I'm a slut. Men desire me, but they don't love me. I'm very comfortable with unrequited love. As long as I can love, I don't care much about not being loved back. Don't think for a minute that this is sad, I'm just broken that way. When I see my mate fuck another woman in front of me, I don't get jealous. I just stop loving him. Instantely.

Oh the love comes back after a while. But I don't get to the jealous stage. I experienced this strange sensation, the lovestop, a few times in my life. It's always interresting.

Whatever keeps me from running after my mate with his golf club, I guess?

Sex & U-haul trucks part II

2010-05-15T21:38:00.002-04:00

You'll forgive my poor, poor memory. I do not remember all the details of this phone sex conversation we had. It was so late, I was so tired. Yet, I wanted to hear more.

More about his fantasies of me at his mercy. More about his desire to come and force himself on me. More about the perfect rape scenario. Coming over to take me out on a regular date (you know, those who don't end up with handcuffs and safewords).

Coming over and having to walk around the corner to his car, cause no one can ever find parking on my street. Number II reason why I don't have a car myself. Turning the corner and being led to a U-Haul truck. It'd be easy to acquire one, there's a rental office a stonethrow away from my appartment. It wouldn't look suspicious parked around the corner.

How would he get me inside, I don't know. I can be easily surprised and he's much taller and stronger than me. In fact, I can't remember the last time a guy made me feel tiny, petite and precious. I'm a big gal for fuck's sake. But I ramble. He'd get me in the truck pretty easily.

He could drive me out of the city. Somewhere where no one would hear me scream. Or in front of a ex's house. He could go and hand him the keys of the truck after he's done with me. Tied, bound, gagged in the back of the truck.

What does it says about me that I'm been thinking about this for 2 days?

Phone Sex and U-Haul trucks

2010-05-14T16:05:00.003-04:00

I couldn't pretend to remember absolutely everything of the past phone sex conversations we had in the last weeks. But I sure remember vividly some details of the one of last night.

It's awesome to find a guy who is not only willing to follow you in your kinky fantasies and quirks, but seems to be enjoying himself very much in them, in a totally non threatening way.

Yes. When I'm chained to my bedroom chair, naked at his mercy, I feel dominated, but not threatened. And it was so incredibly important to find someone who is making me feel this way.

It's quite interesting in the sense that I never met someone who could make me feel really submissive. I wanted to. But it never happened.

I'm rambling.

Long story short, we had phone sex last night. We were discussing possible scenarios for a rape scene. Cause I never had a guy I trusted enough to give him permission to rape me.

Isn't life ironic?

I'll have to come back later tonight to explain my title...

Anal envy

2010-05-11T22:36:00.003-04:00

I just place an order of sex toys. Don't you like online shopping?

Off course I could go to the sex shop on Ste-Catherine near Guy, but I prefer shopping in the comfort of my living room.

Bought quite a few interresting toys to fill me up nicely. Not saying my buzzing toys don't do the job, but when I'm loving myself, I wanna fill me up with (fake) cock.

And nothing makes me cum more when I'm soloing than some toys in my backdoor entrance while going crazy on my clit.

I haven't had anal sex in a couple of weeks now. I CRAVE it so much. Toys will have to do for now.

That was a weird week.

2010-05-08T10:24:00.005-04:00

It truly was. It started off with a nice little BDSM-y sunday night. Then I had another guy ball-deep in my cunt Monday. After that I went for drinks at McLean's with a friend of mine and next thing I know we're at this place fondling each others in bed.

The last one I truly didn't expected. Heck, I was supposed to go home with another guy that night but he stood me up. I get the feeling my ego should be more affected than it is by that, but meh. Waking up in LaSalle was quite the mindfuck.

I ended up cancelling a date I had planned for Friday at St-Bock because I simply don't "feel it". Chemistry. What I had with the 3 guys I shared some naughty fun with earlier this week. If I don't feel that with someone from his voice on the phone, I'm not gonna have much fun on a date. It's always better to go with my gut feeling in those cases.

So this week thought me lots about myself. The first realization was that I could totally be a whore. I really don't have to have romantic feelings to share nighttime activities with a guy. I'm exactly the type of friend to give someone a sympathy blow job or a birthday fuck.

Also, I really love cum. When the guy cums like a firehose all over my face, I swallow a little and still more is coming out, I'm turned ON. And I do not ALWAYS squirt, the guy really have to know what he's going with me. Takes a while to get to know me: some have it faster than others.

Lastly, if you wanna feel loose down there, by all mean let 3 different guys fist you 3 nights in a row.

The state of being under the control of a force or influence or abstract power

2010-05-03T16:08:00.003-04:00

I just wish I had more time to elaborate on this subject right now. I will, in due time.

Some games are very enjoyable to play with the right partner. And I definitely had one last night. We keep going in and out of the game, both being a bit rusty (or first timer) at it.

I forgot how enjoyable being controlled was. How extremely secure I feel in bondage, my wrists tied up tightly in a soft scarf.

I also forgot how nice it was to be stimulated by an eager (and competent!) mouth.

My ass is still glowing red as I'm speaking. A little spanking's nice, as an ex-supervisor of mine would say... And well, a lot of it is just so darn enjoyable!

I think he just enjoyed how it was making me gushing wet and at the end of the night, fingering almost became full on fisting. I'm still sore.

Giving my lovers the link to my blog is both a blessing and a curse. They can get turned on remotely by reading about the sex we had (or will be having). But they also get quite a unique window to my sexual soul: all my fantasies are laid out for them to read, to gain further knowledge about. Should I give this much power to people over me?