Thursday, 27 May 2010

If I must be lonely, I guess I'd rather be alone

I know people who are in relationships, disfunctional relationships, because they are simply afraid of being alone.

I've been single, by choice, for 7 months now. Is it the longest I've ever been single? I think so.

I'm up to double this length of time. Course I'll fall in love. But I enjoy my singledom too much right now.

It's not the scare of potential monogamy: while it's not my cup of tea, that's one of the rare things I'd be wllling to sacrifice. It's not the fear of commitment: I've always been very dedicated to my boyfriends and I was their number one fan, often to my own detriment.

But it's just that. Detriment. I become someone I do not like when I'm in a long term relationship. I sit in my complacence and I cease to be this ambitious and independant young woman I truly am.

I am enjoying my singledom. And living on my own. I am not ready to compromise on anything right now: I've been doing this all my life with roommates and boyfriends.

And loneliness is pretty awesome when I spend it with myself.

1 comment:

SP4M: said...

Not everyone likes to be alone, but I know what you mean. It's actually quite amazing when you can actually appreciate time spent with yourself. ;)