Lonely jerks

So there's some lonely people posting on Craigslist pretending to be me.

Here's a hint: I use my entire name (philosophicalslut) in my email address. If you're getting contacted by someone with another email then that one, it's not me!

Frustrations

When I'm frustrated, I also get horny, somewhat.

If you were to drop my panties when I'm pissed off, you could slowly finger me and it wouldn't take long before you could fist me while calling me a nasty whore.

I like hardcore sex in general, but when I'm upset, I'd like it even more. Use my mouth as a pleasure hole for your cock, rape my ass then cum in my mouth, leave my slutty cunt alone, or fist it if you want.

Slap my face and call me nasty names, spank my ass while fucking it.

I'm beyond pissed off right now. And I can't fuck it out.

In an empty apartment with nothing else than a sofa

I went out with 2 guys last week at Carlos and Peppes. Had a few drinks, nothing unreasonable, than asked one of them back to my new place to help me set up my new TV.

It's actually exactly what he did, at first. I had no furniture except said TV and my new black leather sofa. I wasn't in a position to fuck (I'm not turned on by period sex, even if I do get insanely horny sometimes) so we were fondling each other and I ended up asking him to fuck my mouth.

The words must have turned him on a lot cause in the blink of an eye he was standing up on my couch and shoving his thick uncut cock in my eager mouth and pumping away like it was a used up whore's cunt. I was tweaking his nipples slightly and he quickly rewarded me with a few sprays of his sperm.

A few drops fell on my new black leather sofa.

The taste of cum

It's not a secret that most women won't swallow. Or want to get cum on their face. Or let that sweet love juice run down their breasts and play with it for a while.

I love cum. I love doing all those things. So when I'm going down on a guy and I know his taste his good, even yummy sometimes, I do ask him where he wants to cum. Does he wants me to swallow it all, like a greedy little slut, want to paint my face like a whore canvas with it, cover my ample boobs with the stuff?

One of my exes had a real nectar coming out of his schlong. He always said it was for his insane fondness of green apple and iced tea, which is was indulging in many times a day. And so was I, in some way... What a nice oral sex summer it was.

Cum, it's my slutty reward! I enjoy it very much.

Hurray!

It's a (belated) Christmas miracle!

My blog is back!

What happenned, you all asked. Well, Google has robots surfing the interwebs and those robots also surf Blogger.com (which belongs to Google). They help the interwebs get rid of the scum, so they delete spam blogs.

I got flagged as a spam blog. It's called a false positive. It was a long tedious process getting the blog back, and I'm considering moving it elsewhere, but at least it's back.

Ooh I have so many things to blog about...

What, what?

So I'm watching porn. Nothing out of the ordinary so far.

But pay attention to the last 20 seconds of this clip on Red Tube.

This is exactly how I'd love to be fucked right now. Raw, in the ass, while I scream like a banshee and my pussy squirts like a fountain.

I'll be watching this clip over and over until I'm horny enough to masturbate while squirting everywhere.

Funny euphemisms for sex

I'm watching yesterday's American Dad and they made me laughed so much with their "i've been naughty and you'll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking" that I started thinking about other euphemisms for sex.

I've always liked "bumping uglies" and "taming the shrew" also.

BTW, I'm totally using "i've been naughty and you'll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking" as a pick up line this time of year from now on!

A countdown of the last dates I had.

I was browsing a dating site earlier today, OKCUPID not to name it, and I was thinking of the last dates I had with guys I met there.

So here's a countdown in reverse chronological order!

- Very awkward date, he was obviously nervous and we had very little in common. At the end of the date he doesn't make any moves, but later tells me online that he'd love to fuck me. I accept, cause I don't care about the guy but I sure wouldn't mind fucking. I don't hear from him and he dissapears completely shortly after.

- Weird date again. Had coffee, then walked a bit, then had coffee elsewhere. Was trying to invite me over his place constantly. I paid for my own coffee too.

- Great date. We immediately had awesome chemistry. We made out like crazy teenagers and even went to the movie theater for an intense gropping session in the dark. I ended up giving him a hand job.

- Had a lot of fun at the restaurant, then at the coffee shop. We talked for hours. We ended up having foreplay all night, but no penetrative sex.

- Nice first date. We were very comfortable with each other and he made my roommate laugh a lot. We ended up fooling around in my bedroom. Got my first analingus that night.

- We had some chemistry, but not enough that I'd want to keep the guy around. But the sex was absolutely awesome and he's hung like a stallion.

The boy got no game

No seriously. I get contacted by AT LEAST 15 guys, on a slow day.

Out of the lot, only ONE guy will have a decent chance at getting my attention.

Wanna talk numbers? That means less than 7% of the guy who contact me have a chance to get a reply. Roughly 75% of the men I will reply to will prove themselves to be jerks and/or losers.

And my advice to men is: you have no game. Learn to communicate.

When you contact an awesome girl, you know she is interresting. Also, she knows that you know she is interresting. Your goal is now to make her think you are interresting too.

It's painfully obviously when you are sending a "longish" message that is just a copy and paste of the same message you must have sent 100 girls before me. "Hi, your profile is funny and interresting, I would love to know more about you." Really, am I supposed to feel special here? Tell me WHAT you liked about my profile and WHICH part was funny. Add a little personnal anecdote or two. That will get my attention.

I won't even cover the "hi sexy wanna talk on msn and see how it goes" because I wonder if the guys sending those messages are ever going to leave their mother's basement; they don't deserve tips & tricks.

Speaking of MSN, there is the annoying conversation that goes like this:
"hi"
"hi"
"how are you"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking"
"So what do you wanna talk about"
"..."

If you ever get laid and the conversation started like that, please contact me, I need to know how you turned it around!

We'll finish off with my personnal pet peeve: the beggar. He's easy to spot because he will overuse the expression and "why not??". I seem to be getting a lot of those lately, probably because I am way too polite and do reply to all messages I get, even if it's to nicely turn down someone.

Don't get me wrong, I know rejection is not fun. But sometimes, you definitely deserved it.

Face slap & spanks

There's something extremely arrousing about being manhandled, I never hid my preferences in that matter.

I only ever been with one guy who wasn't afraid to be extremely rough in bed; he would slap and spank and bite and pull at whim.

It's not necessarly the type of things you want to do with a one night stand either. My sexuality is like a flower that blooms when it's being nurtured in a relationship setting: either a casual or a serious one. I just don't see myself doing this with a stranger: plus, wouldn't the guy who do that to random girls be a bit weird?

I miss having my ass spanked, raw, and my face slap, forcefully.

Yup, they are turning me on.

Buzzing

I went out with some girlfriends last night, typical girl's night out. Drinks, food, fun, sex talk.

I was talking about one of my favorite position. Also about what I would do if I coulnd't have sex for a month. I recall my exact words where : "no pussy sex? thank god I have an ass!".

Anyway, we were discussing how I need new sex toys and it got me thinking, about how wonderful it'd be to be ass-fucked while a vibrator would be buzzing in my cunt at full speed.

That's what gives me the biggest orgams usually, anal combined with some sort of vaginale or clitoridial pleasure. I'm one of the few girls I know who actually cums from normal penetration sex, but when you combine different version of it, it's terribly pleasurable.

Delish

Sometimes, when I touch myself, I let my fantasies run wild.

Yesterday, I was rubbing my clit hard, spreading my cunt juices all around my pussy and pinching my nipples while thinking about girl on girl. More specifically, a girl eating me out while I'd be doing exactly what I was doing.

I'm not a huge fan of receiving cunnilingus. Gentlemen, I'll shatter your self confidence by admitting that very few of you are talented in this domain. And it's an activity that is best performed by somebody who is VERY gifted in pussy eating, otherwise I'm just annoyed with it.

My most recent ex never eaten me out. At all. And I was quite satisfied with his manhood that I never ever missed it. The guy I was very serious before that was eating me out often, but he wasn't very good at it, so, boredom.

There's a guy I was involved with for a few years, he was half decent and that was quite enjoyable. But about 10 years ago, I brieftly dated a guy who was an absolute KING, a wizard of the tongue, a paladdin of the clit... let's call him Q.

Q is probably the reason the bar is set so high for cunnilingus nowadays; he was absolutely terrific at it. I remember this one time, he came home from school for lunch... and spent 45 minutes eating me out. Yes. It was so wonderful I can only be disappointed when I'm with another man now and he's eating me out. Thank you Q for ruining cunnilingus forever for me.

So back on the girl eating me out: I have the biased opinion that a girl would probably be good at pussy eating and it's making me very hot to think about it while I'm masturbating.

But my mind is shifting again and now I'm the one eating her out... I moan in my pillow, loudly, hoping not to wake the roommates up.

I'd love to eat a sweet juicy pussy, with the girl spread eagle in front of me and while my mouth is running wild on her cunt, grabbing and gropping her soft and warm breasts, hearing her moaning her pleasure loudly. Oh if I could get fucked in the ass from behind at the same time, that'd just be delish.

Gangbang

I was reading an old comment on an old entry of this blog.

My reader wrote that he could picture me in a gangbang with 4-5 cocks.

I wonder what I would do with so many stiff members around me...

First scenario coming to mind is that I'd be on all fours, stradling a guy who'd be fucking my pussy, while another guy would be fucking my ass from behind. I'd most likely be sucking on a thick dick while jerking the two other guys off.

I've experimented double penetration with sex toys before, either alone or with a partner. It's pretty awesome to feel your slutty pussy being stretched by two large phalluses at the same time, or to suck on a dick while you are being fucked at the same time.

How can it be December yet?

How can it be December yet?

It forces me to think too much about the fact I haven't gotten any in over a month now. I didn't even got laid on my birthday, and that in itself is a real tragedy.

I was joking tonight, on a date with an ex of mine, that I'd like a mold of his cock. They do sell kits for that at the sex store. He claimed we didn't had time to stop there on our way to the movie.

I think he just want to stick the real thing in me and not a substitute.